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Dec. 29th, 2006 08:43 pmI meant to drive down to St. Augustine today. See the lights. I've been meaning to do that since Dad reminded me of them on Christmas Eve. I never have gone, even though I've known about it for a couple of years.
I got up in time for it, even. And laid back down 'just for a minute' and woke up at 8. So now I've blown my chance again, and probably shot my chance of even getting to talk with someone. But I just wanted her to know where I was.
This has been the pattern of my year, really. Making plans and getting excited, and having things just. Not happen, or not meet my expectations. I didn't even get to see the redwoods on vacation. And it's own fault, every single time. Today? I should have made myself go to bed when I got home, or shortly thereafter. Not stayed up trying to get every little thing arranged and buzzing around excitedly. ...though I couldn't help that. I have something to be excited about, if everything goes well.
The one thing I'm proud of myself for this year is not stopping. Even though I'm sitting here about to cry, I know I'll probably have myself convinced to try again by the time I get off work. Halfway is still better than nothing.
Right now, I think I'll see if I can shove in some level-building and try to complete a Hunt that keeps killing me off. It would be nice to kill something about now.
I got up in time for it, even. And laid back down 'just for a minute' and woke up at 8. So now I've blown my chance again, and probably shot my chance of even getting to talk with someone. But I just wanted her to know where I was.
This has been the pattern of my year, really. Making plans and getting excited, and having things just. Not happen, or not meet my expectations. I didn't even get to see the redwoods on vacation. And it's own fault, every single time. Today? I should have made myself go to bed when I got home, or shortly thereafter. Not stayed up trying to get every little thing arranged and buzzing around excitedly. ...though I couldn't help that. I have something to be excited about, if everything goes well.
The one thing I'm proud of myself for this year is not stopping. Even though I'm sitting here about to cry, I know I'll probably have myself convinced to try again by the time I get off work. Halfway is still better than nothing.
Right now, I think I'll see if I can shove in some level-building and try to complete a Hunt that keeps killing me off. It would be nice to kill something about now.
