(no subject)

So. Warnings for the melancholy and not so much the sads.

I was looking at a comment I left, and realized that at some point I stopped working as hard on my dreams as I used to. Like all my energy got sucked into my stupid job, which is only for the paycheck and retirement savings, and out of the writing and the art.

Also that I had not really thought about how people at work see me, despite my knowing that I am apparently a very funny person! Although a bit hard to get to know.

Aside from 2 people, they don't really know me at all.

I don't know, I really don't. I think I'm on the right track and I just have to keep at it, but it feels like I'm treading water. I hate feeling like I'm going nowhere.

On the other hand, I have some vacation time coming up next month! Around 20 days, and counting. Avidly. I should stop looking at the calender, as they are even less prone to change when watched than clocks. ;)

Yesterday I had an awesome dream I can hardly remember, mostly to do with a girl who changed her village? Town? Into birds, who then flew away from wherever. And when they came back it turned out there had been a disaster of some kind, and the place was a wreck, but everyone was okay because birds!

So I went on my library's website and reserved some books about birds, partly for research and partly because I love birds and used to know all sorts, from growing up watching them with my Grandma. Also tv nature programs! And I know these birds, I know they're migratory and where they go and what they sound like - but I can't remember.

But I will damn well find out. Again. :P

Maybe some time tonight or this weekend or something, I will squee about both Princess Tutu and the first Professor Layton game, which I am almost done playing. Both of these things are awesome things. But right now I should probably try to sleep.

Or keep reading The Fox Woman by Kij Johnson, which I checked out when I decided to go to the library even though they didn't have my holds yet, because I wanted to get out of the house. It is a beautiful story so far, very lyrical imagery.

Now if my mind would just stop drawing parallels between the kitsune in this story and Ahiru.


( Tiny spoilerishness related to the above. )

(no subject)

So. Warnings for the melancholy and not so much the sads.

I was looking at a comment I left, and realized that at some point I stopped working as hard on my dreams as I used to. Like all my energy got sucked into my stupid job, which is only for the paycheck and retirement savings, and out of the writing and the art.

Also that I had not really thought about how people at work see me, despite my knowing that I am apparently a very funny person! Although a bit hard to get to know.

Aside from 2 people, they don't really know me at all.

I don't know, I really don't. I think I'm on the right track and I just have to keep at it, but it feels like I'm treading water. I hate feeling like I'm going nowhere.

On the other hand, I have some vacation time coming up next month! Around 20 days, and counting. Avidly. I should stop looking at the calender, as they are even less prone to change when watched than clocks. ;)

Yesterday I had an awesome dream I can hardly remember, mostly to do with a girl who changed her village? Town? Into birds, who then flew away from wherever. And when they came back it turned out there had been a disaster of some kind, and the place was a wreck, but everyone was okay because birds!

So I went on my library's website and reserved some books about birds, partly for research and partly because I love birds and used to know all sorts, from growing up watching them with my Grandma. Also tv nature programs! And I know these birds, I know they're migratory and where they go and what they sound like - but I can't remember.

But I will damn well find out. Again. :P

Maybe some time tonight or this weekend or something, I will squee about both Princess Tutu and the first Professor Layton game, which I am almost done playing. Both of these things are awesome things. But right now I should probably try to sleep.

Or keep reading The Fox Woman by Kij Johnson, which I checked out when I decided to go to the library even though they didn't have my holds yet, because I wanted to get out of the house. It is a beautiful story so far, very lyrical imagery.

Now if my mind would just stop drawing parallels between the kitsune in this story and Ahiru.


( Tiny spoilerishness related to the above. )