(no subject)
Feb. 21st, 2012 09:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
spokeReally, this year is going better than last. I feel, at times, more aware than I have in a long time.
And it hurts, and it makes me worry about things that I've lost, damage that's been done that maybe I'll never recover from. I just... keep telling myself to keep moving, keep trying.
Still depressing.
But I've managed some good this weekend, and I'm still slowly working on stuff. Trying to make progress.
Getting out of the house helps. Especially getting out into nature helps, but coming back into this house... it's like it's in the air here. Trying to get the place cleaned up and stuff moved around, that might help. I remember hearing on NPR a few weeks back that your subconscious basically assigns emotions and behaviors to your surroundings, so it's possible the house itself is serving as a trigger at this point.
I finally got that new media shelf put up though. It is a flimsy cheap thing, but better than nothing. Considering getting another proper bookshelf, although that would be kind of expensive and even more difficult putting together, and besides it'll have to wait until I'm back from the proper vacation.
Proper vacation! To San Francisco, if anyone doesn't already know. At the end of March. I am looking forward to that, no matter what else happens.
If I can just keep stomaching work. I hate being so dependent on something that makes me hate people so much - and I was never a people-person to begin with.
...I need new emotes, these little boxes are not cutting it. I miss the kittens from lj!
And it hurts, and it makes me worry about things that I've lost, damage that's been done that maybe I'll never recover from. I just... keep telling myself to keep moving, keep trying.
Still depressing.
But I've managed some good this weekend, and I'm still slowly working on stuff. Trying to make progress.
Getting out of the house helps. Especially getting out into nature helps, but coming back into this house... it's like it's in the air here. Trying to get the place cleaned up and stuff moved around, that might help. I remember hearing on NPR a few weeks back that your subconscious basically assigns emotions and behaviors to your surroundings, so it's possible the house itself is serving as a trigger at this point.
I finally got that new media shelf put up though. It is a flimsy cheap thing, but better than nothing. Considering getting another proper bookshelf, although that would be kind of expensive and even more difficult putting together, and besides it'll have to wait until I'm back from the proper vacation.
Proper vacation! To San Francisco, if anyone doesn't already know. At the end of March. I am looking forward to that, no matter what else happens.
If I can just keep stomaching work. I hate being so dependent on something that makes me hate people so much - and I was never a people-person to begin with.
...I need new emotes, these little boxes are not cutting it. I miss the kittens from lj!
