(no subject)

[spoke]

so, after yesterday i felt like going and yelling at everyone in the house. because honestly, if it's something they want me to do (sis=babysit, dad=get the driver's license) then i know exactly what i'm doing, it's no problem.

if it's anything else, i am hopelessly niave. don't have a clue. dad=proving my age online without, apparently, ending up giving away all our wordly possessions, Patricia...

here, i feel i should point out that dad is not nearly as bad about this, really, as my sister is. dad is very quiet about it, when he does act this way. sis, well:

i'm listening to some lines from a drama cd i downloaded, and she immediately jumps me: 'first, think about what you're playing, do you know it, have you heard it before, is it soomething the boys need to hear.'

note that this thing is already playing. in japanese! says i 'trish, it's in japanese. can't you tell?'

her (blink) 'oh. it is, isn't it?'

me, trying not to yell. it's okay that she wants to protect her kids; it's not okay that she thinks... what, i'm listening to devil-worship-music, or audio porn, or who knows what she was thinking? i don't. i really, really don't.

then again, i've never understood what she was thinking. not since we were little. i'm three, she's two, and the fun of 'what's going on in trissy's head?' begins with her cutting up my red dress. not that i minded the dress so much, i hate dresses, i'm not that fond of red... but i thought she hated me. and that mommy was an idiot, because i told her Patricia did this on purpose. i told really insistantly and possibly a bit too often, because she ended up telling me that i was being silly(paranoid) because trissy is too little to think that clearly.

yeah, sure mom. fast forward to... i think this was last year sometime, mom is visiting over here, and we're all reminescing, and that comes up.

Patricia: 'yeah, i did that on purpose. i hated us being dressed like twins.'

mom: O.O 'oh.'

and a whole mess of other things, which actually ended in trish giving me a sort of summary apology for being a bitch (her word) when we were kids.

which made me feel better, but this is apparently a part of her personality, and not (as i thought when we were kids) something that can be fixed. Because She Keeps Doing It!!!

bleah. and i was going to rant some more but i've kind of run out of steam.

someday, i would like to just really lose my temper and scream at everyone and see what happens, though. instead, i waited until i could talk calmly, like usual. and the conversations all went nicely, like usual. and i have the sensation that they were humoring me just a little. like usual. (sticks out tounge behind thier backs)

so, Patricia's going to let me hang on to her computer for a couple of days extra, so i can get Lark done and sent. and she's moving, right now. got together a load of stuff and they are supposed to move the beds out to Kevin the fiance's house today.

the boys are really excited. Nathaniel keeps telling me all about going to live with his Mister Kevin, and he likes his Mean Goose Lady. this is Kevin's mom, who they'll be living with. one incident of being chased by a pet goose, and she is forever branded. lol!

oh! and see my icon? (holds up icon) i have joined a cause! go! go to the keelywolfe, and help support Sweaty Man Bitches! yay!